Long Overdue Birth update

First of all I am going to apologise for my lack of blogging! It’s been 5 months since my last post, (it has also taken me about two weeks to complete this post) can’t believe I have left it so long. I will try and update on everything that has happened but I will probably forget to include most of it. It also won’t be the best written blog as I try and include everything.

So the last few weeks of my pregnancy went by without any real problems, although I did get pretty big and uncomfortable. 

I spent my last few weeks of pregnancy getting ready for Christmas and catching up with friends. I also spent it going long walks, bouncing on my exercise ball and trying to drink raspberry leaf tea (gave me a headache, had to give up)
So my due date came and went with absolutely no movement. Went to see my midwife the day after my due date for a sweep which she had no luck with as my body wasn’t ready, but her trying did cause me to have a show that night. 

Three days later I woke up having contractions at 5.30am. How people manage to go back to sleep while having contractions I will never know. My contractions were on and off all day, getting closer together. I managed to stay at home until after 11pm before heading to the hospital as my contractions were getting stronger and were only 2-3 minutes apart.  When I got to the hospital they told me I was 5cm dilated. I was honestly over the moon that I had managed to labour at home until that point. I was sent straight to the labour ward where I met my midwife who if I’m honest I didn’t really like. 
I continued to get stronger contractions, I managed to stay mobile as I was most comfortable on my feet holding onto hubby when the contractions where happening. I held off for quite a while before using gas and air. By 4am  I was only 7cm dilated and the contractions were beyond any pain I had ever imagined. I was still on the gas and air, I had had some anti sickness meds as I had been sick a couple of times from the gas and air. 

My midwife went on a break and the one covering decided to try and monitor baby. Turns out my contractions had slowed and baby’s heart rate was going up and down. The doctor came in and said he wanted to try and break my waters to see if that would speed things up. By this point I had been confined to the bed and I was really struggling with the pain. While the doc was waiting to break my waters it happened on its own. It turns out baby’s bowels had moved. Doc examined me and said baby was back to back which was why I was in so much pain and convinced me to have an epidural as he didn’t think I was coping with the pain. 
While I’m waiting for the epidural my original midwife was trying to get me to move about and onto my side but my whole body ached and I just couldn’t do it. I could tell she was getting annoyed with me as she had also tried to get me to pee which wasn’t happening and then tried to put a catheter in which was agony! The doc then appeared again to say he wanted to take a blood test from baby’s head which he told me would be painful as I had had no pain relief. I can’t even remember how painful it was as I was already in agony. 
So anesthetist came, put in the epidural. After half an hour I was still feeling absolutely no relief from the epidural. Anesthetist appeared to test it and agreed it hadn’t taken on either side. Doc appeared again to do another blood test on baby. He told me I was ready to push so there was no time to try and reposition the epidural and I was going to have to try and push. 
At some point during this there was a shift change and I got the nicest midwife. I began to try pushing but it wasn’t happening, every time I pushed, baby was just going back up as soon as I stopped. Doctor appeared again to say they were going to give me an episiotomy and use forceps to turn baby and help deliver. 
While they were getting set up and ready to go, baby somehow managed to turn on its own so change of plan they were going to use the kiwi to deliver.  Plan was for me to push and the doc to hold baby in place waiting for the next  contraction. So episiotomy and the cap being put on baby’s head with no pain relief was pretty bad but nothing compared to the firey pain I felt while he held baby’s head in place.  But a few pushes later and the doc is holding my baby up in a total lion king moment while me and hubby shout ITS A BOY!!!! 

Because of everything that had happened unfortunate baby boy was taken away for a little while to be checked out before I got to hold him. Thankfully I could hear him crying so I was feeling relief that he was alive and breathing 

According to the midwife as soon as baby’s head cane out, the whole body came flying out and caused me to have a third degree class C tear. Hubby tells me at some point there was a discussion of being prepared to go for an emergency c section. At points when everything was going on this did cross my mind that it was going to happen, perhaps I was even hoping it would so I wouldn’t have to keep going with the pain I was in. 
After what felt like forever I eventually got my beautiful 8lb 5oz baby boy lying on my chest. He was just perfect. And just like that all the pain and the stress of the last 27 hours disappeared as he was absolutely worth it all. 
While I was gazing lovingly at my new baby boy the doctor (who was the most amazing calm man ever) explained about my tear but said I wasn’t losing a lot of blood so they were waiting for a theatre to be ready for me to go and be stitched up. I had discussions with the midwife about feeding while I was waiting and I decided I was going to bottle feed, I was exhausted and stressed about going to theatre and just didn’t feel I could manage to try and breastfeed. I know many people would have tried, but for me I now know it was definitely the right decision at the time. 
Pretty quickly I am then being wheeled off to theatre leaving my baby boy and hubby. I was given a spinal seeing as the epidural hadn’t worked and it was honestly such a relief to feel nothing although a little weird to see the theatre staff moving my legs about all over the place and not being able to feel it. They wrapped me in a heated blanket and I had the best nap I’ve ever had while they stitched up my tear, my episiotomy and also three hairline tears around my vagina. Must have been a bit of a mess down there 
Once it was over I was wheeled round to recovery to meet the hubby and baby boy. Hubby stayed with us until I was moved to a bed on a ward and then he headed home for a shower and change. It took quite a long time for the spinal to wear off it so it was hours before I could get up out of bed to get changed and cleaned up. I had to stay in hospital over night as my catheter had to be in 24 hours. The next day we were both checked over and ready to head home in time for Christmas. 
The next few days went by in a bit of a blur what with having a new baby and it being Christmas but it was amazing.  My recovery went well and I was moving about and not really having too much pain all things considered. I was very religious at taking my pain relief and laxatives as well as the arnica pastilles I decided to add in to help with all the swelling and after two weeks I was feeling good.  I think the fact I went to theatre and the doc was able to take her time tidying and stitching me up helped with my recovery as opposed to if they had had to do it quickly in the labour ward.  I also had to remember to do my pelvic floor exercises every day to help with the recovery. With the type of tear I had it’s common to have problems with bowel movements but thankfully that hasn’t happened. I have a physio follow up in a few weeks just to make sure there is no lasting damage to my pelvic floor. 
Baby boy is now nearly 15 weeks and they have been the best 15 weeks of my life. He is just amazing. I love watching him change and grow and develop his own little personality. I couldn’t be happier with our little family. 
I am undecided as to whether I will continue to blog. This blog was a place for me to vent while I was trying to conceive and I’m not sure I want to turn it into a baby blog but we will see. For now I just want to concentrate on spending time with my baby but maybe one day I will come back to it. 
Apologies again for this post, it’s all over the place. 
Sending love xxx

34 weeks

My blogging has been terrible since I became pregnant. I keep saying I am going to try and write a bit more regularly but it never happens!

 

I have been very lucky throughout my pregnancy in that I have been feeling pretty good and none of my symptoms have been anything I couldnt manage. From about 17 weeks I had had the odd bit of pinky discharge which my midwife wasn’t worried about but when I saw her at 28 weeks she decided to get my GP to have a week look just to make sure there wasn’t anything going on. GP had a look, said my cervix looked great, took a swab and there was no sign of infection. After that, it became a bit more frequent so when I saw my midwife just after 32 weeks she decided I needed to go to maternity assesment at the hospital just as a precaution. Midwife didn’t seem too concerned at first but then when she tested my urine there was blood in my urine so she decided I definitely needed to be seen at the hospital.

Anway I went, baby was monitored and everything was as it should be. A doctor came and had a look at my cervix accompanied by a male student who whipped out a torch to get a better look. Cue my dignity leaving the room and me and hubby maturely getting the giggles. Anyway, doctor said she could see a cervical ectropion. She said theres a possiblity my GP missed it or that it’s gotten worse and is more visible since seeeing her. They tested my urine again and said there was definitely white cells present so they were going to treat me for a UTI and see if that helps with the spotting.

I have now finished the antibiotics and everything seems great, no more spotting, but as a side effect of the antibiotics I now have thrush, oh the joys!

 

On a more potive note I finish work a week today!!Yaaaay! I have some holidays to use up so finishing up a bit earlier than I had originally planned. I am really looking forward to not having to get out of bed early to get to work. I do have plans though for when I finish which include finishing my Christmas shopping, writting my cards and wrapping all the presents and then I am going to relax and watch Christmas films until I have tinsel coming out of my ears!!
Due Date : 18th December
Baby Is The Size Of : Cantaloupe apparently
Maternity Clothes : All my bottoms are maternity but I still have a few tops and dresses that are fitting me although that is getting more and more of a struggle now
Stretch Marks : Dont’t seem to be getting much worse but there are quite a few on my belly. Still slathering them in Coco Butter and Bio oil.
Symptoms : Still goin to the loo a lot! Getting a bit tired now and I have definitely started to waddle a bit, although I’m not sure if thats the size of my belly or just the back pain causing it.
Sleep : Sleep is still pretty broken. Getting up to pee once or twice a night. And everytime I need to roll over because my leg/hip has gone numb from lying in the one position
Belly Button In/Out : It is still in but I can see its stretching and the scar from my piercing is getting higher and further out.
Wedding Rings On/Off : My wedding ring is still on but that may change pretty soon. Some days I feel it’s getting pretty tight so might just take it off before it need to be cut off.
Movement : Movement still doesn’t seem to have any really pattern to it. Some days baby is going mental some days not so much but he/she always has a good stretch and roll about when I go to bed at night
Food Cravings : Cheese in general is still high on my list and of course the full fat Irn Bru
Miss Anything : Still pate! Keeping my fingers crossed baby is here before christmas so I can have it as my starter for Christmas dinner
Gender Prediction : From the beginning I have had a feeling we were having a girl but recently I have been changing to boy
Purchases For Baby : I have picked up a few wee bits here and there, mainly nappies and wipes to have some stock for the first wee while. I actually also bought a sleepsuit that says my first christmas on it, just incase baby is here. If baby comes on time or even a few days late then it will be his/her first christmas and I know I would kick myself for not having bought something!
Baby Bump : 

 

30 week update

Slightly more than 30 weeks now. Feels like I am in the home stretch now and can start counting down until baby is here. 
Due Date : 18th December
Baby Is The Size Of : Winter squash 
Maternity Clothes : All my bottoms are maternity but I still have a few tops and dresses that are fitting me.
Stretch Marks : They are getting worse on my belly! I’m slathering my belly in bio oil but it doesn’t seem to making much difference just now. I’ve just accepted I have the type of skin that was always going to get stretch marks
Symptoms : Peeing aaaallll the time! It’s gotten worse now that the baby is more active, feel like he/she is kicking my bladder lol still got a bit of back/pelvic pain. It comes and goes with how severe it is but I am able to manage it quite well with exercises and rest when I need it 
Sleep : Sleep is still pretty broken. Getting up to pee once or twice a night. 
Belly Button In/Out : It is still in but I can see its stretching and the scar from my piercing is getting higher and further out.
Wedding Rings On/Off : My wedding ring is still on. I normally wear my engagement ring and eternity ring but I can’t get all three on if my hands are swollen from the heat so most days it’s just my wedding ring that’s on.
Movement : Movement is getting much stronger now and more often. Sometimes I can actually see the kicks and my belly move when baby is turning over. I feel that total mixture of amazement and weirdness lol 
Food Cravings : Still Mac and cheese and full fat IrnBru. 
Miss Anything : I have never wanted some pate’ so badly before in my life! For the first time in my pregnancy I could go a glass of prosecco. Might be because my birthday is tomorrow 
Gender Prediction : From the beginning I have had a feeling we were having a girl but recently I have been changing to boy 
Purchases For Baby : Nursery furniture was delivered today, hopefully it will be built next week and I can start putting things away and getting organised because at the moment there are bags and boxes all over the place. Been picking up bits and pieces over the last few eeeks and I think we are pretty much sorted now for baby coming 
Baby Bump : 

26 Week Update

Since being pregnant I have become terrible at blogging! I just can’t seem to find what I want to say and every time I sit down to write I get distracted and then I give up. So, I have decided to do a more structured update.

 

Due Date : 18^th December

Baby Is The Size Of : A Papaya

Maternity Clothes : All my bottoms are maternity but I still have a few tops and dresses that are fitting me.

Stretch Marks : Got some a few weeks on my stomach, they don’t seem to have gotten much worse but I am sure they will. Been religiously rubbing in coco butter and have recently added in some bio oil.

Symptoms : Still going to the loo a lot. I seem to be warm all of the time!!! I quire often have to take my shoes off in work as my feet get so hot! Been having some back pain and went for physio last week. A lot of it is down to sitting at a desk all day for work so I have some exercises to do to help that. The physio also said my sciatic joint was very tight on one side so need to try and loosen that.

Sleep : My sleep is a bit all over place, sometimes I sleep great with just the one interruption to pee around 2am but other nights I feel like I am waking up every half hour.

Belly Button In/Out : It is still in but I can see its stretching and the scar from my piercing is getting higher and further out.

Wedding Rings On/Off : My wedding ring is still on. I normally wear my engagement ring and eternity ring but I can’t get all three on if my hands are swollen from the heat so most days it’s just my wedding ring that’s on.

Movement : Movement is still a bit all over the place, some day’s baby is more active than others. Favourite times of the day seem to be after lunch and as I am trying to go to sleep. I am getting a bit frustrated that Hubby can’t really feel baby kicking. He has so far only felt it twice. It just seems so weird because the kicks feel so strong to me.

Food Cravings : Mac and cheese and full fat Irn Bru (this might give you a hint of where my anonymous blog is coming from)

Miss Anything : I have never wanted some pate’ so badly before in my life!

Gender Prediction : I have a feeling baby is a girl, and so does hubby. So that means we are probably having a boy.

Purchases For Baby : In the last week I have bought a fluffy pram suit for bringing baby home in as it will be cold in December, a lovely knitted grey romper and the Tommee Tippee Closer to nature starter set which was on offer from Amazon over the weekend. I am hoping to breastfeed but I want to have some bottles and a steriliser just in case it doesn’t work out.

Baby Bump : I will try and upload a pic later of my massive bump

Half Way There

 

I have only just realised that I haven’t updated in 8 weeks! Where has the time gone! In my head I keep thinking that I need to do an update and then somehow I never get around to it, I am going to blame baby brain for this one.

 

Anyway I am now 20 weeks pregnant. Still can’t quite believe it. I had my 20 week scan yesterday and baby is perfect, everything is where it should be. He/She started off in a very tight ball and when shaken out of it, did not stop moving for nearly half an hour. The lady doing the ultrasound spent ages trying to get all the measurements she needed as baby just kept spinning and kicking around, was so funny to watch. We luckily got one good pic of baby’s profile right at the end of the scan, all the rest are quite blurry lol

 

We decided not to find out the sex of the baby at the scan. Despite being someone who normally hates surprises, this is one surprise I think I am going to love and my husband agrees so we are just going to wait until he/she is here to find out.  We both have a very strong feeling it’s going to be a girl, and so do quite a lot of our friends and family which means it’s probably going to be a boy. I have found a lot of people ask us what we would prefer which I find an odd question. I honestly could not care less if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as they are healthy.

 

My bump is growing so much now, I feel like it is huge but I guess everyone feels that way about their changing body. There is definitely no mistaking me for fat rather than pregnant. I decided to put my pregnancy news on Facebook last night. This is something I have debated about for so long as I just didn’t feel ready to put it out there and I knew I didn’t want to have my scan photos online. I decided to go with a nice photo of me and the hubby from the weekend where you can definitely see I have a bump and along with a description of where the photo was I mentioned being 20 weeks pregnant. Cue the flurry of messages of congratulations and confusion from people who had no idea I was pregnant. The compliments I received on how well I looked definitely did wonders for my ego! It was really nice seeing how happy people were for both of us and I am glad I did it, but I am also glad I waited until I was ready to share it.

 

I am still keeping well so far, I feel compared to the way some people are while pregnant I appear to be having quite an easy time of it. The only thing I can really say is an issue is my back pain but I am being careful and doing some exercise and stretching to help it so hopefully it won’t get any worse. The only time I can say I have felt truly awful being pregnant was after my Whooping cough vaccine which I received at 17 weeks. I normally get a bit of a headache after any vaccinations but this headache was something else. It was accompanied by severe muscle ache and a raging temperature which meant I got about 2 hours sleep the night after having the vaccine. Luckily it all passed pretty quickly.

 

We had a list of things that needed to be done in the house before we started on the baby’s room and that’s all coming along nicely. Just waiting on the carpets being laid in our bedrooms and then we can get the nursery furniture ordered and built. I have ordered my pram (decided to go with the Buagaboo Buffalo which I love!!) but apart from that I haven’t really bought anything for the baby yet. Waiting until the room is all sorted and we will have somewhere to store it all.

 

Although it’s been so long since my last update I can’t actually think of anything else to say. I am just trying to stay relaxed and enjoy my pregnancy as much as I possibly can. Hopefully I won’t leave it as long until my next update

12 Week Scan

Everything went perfectly at our 12 week scan. The knot that has been in my stomach for the last few weeks has eventually gone.

 

It was amazing seeing the baby wriggling away inside of me. Much to hubbys relief, there is definitely only one baby in there. I am not quite as far on as I thought, was only a few days out. New due date is the 18^th December.

 

I haven’t stopped smiling since yesterday, it has been so surreal telling everyone I am pregnant.

12 Weeks

How the hell did that happen? I am now 12 weeks and one day pregnant. I have my scan at the beginning of next week and I am a nervous wreck about it!

 

As much as I am excited about going for the scan and seeing the baby, I am also wracked with anxiety that something could be wrong! Someone close to me had a silent miscarriage a few months ago and I guess the thought of that is playing on my mind hugely.  I’m not really sure that the worry or the knot in my stomach will leave until I see the scan I know everything is ok. And even then I guess I might just move on to a new worry.

 

I am trying not to over think things too much but as we all know that can be extremely difficult. At 12 weeks my symptoms seem to have died down which I know is normal but I can’t help but worry about what it means. I didn’t have particularly bad nausea anyway, and have never been sick so it’s no surprise that that particular pregnancy symptom has subsided. I still have the sore boobs, the bloat and the gas (god that’s an awful side effect of pregnancy) and my stomach is definitely expanding.

 

If the clothes I wear are tight fitting you can definitely see the baby bump!  My uniform for work is definitely getting tighter, everyone will be thinking I’ve been piling on the pounds! My husband is fascinated by the change in my shape and by how hard my stomach has become. There have been a few jokes from family members that there may be two in there but despite my expanding stomach I haven’t actually put that much weight on so my guess is it may all be fluid or as I mentioned before that my 5ft 1 self doesn’t have anywhere else to accommodate the baby growing.

 

We have a social gathering with some of my husbands friends tomorrow and I am having outfit anxiety! Not only am I trying to hide my expanding stomach but also the sunny weather here in Scotland is causing me major wardrobe stress. I have tried on so many summer outfits in the last week trying to find something that will suit. To be honest, I just want to hibernate for the weekend and have the scan day be here already!

 

Now that my anxiety is at all time high, my husband has become so calm all of a sudden! He was the one initially who didn’t want to tell anyone I was pregnant at all in case something happened and now he’s the one who’s convinced everything is fine.

 

We have decided after the scan to go for a nice lunch and to the shops for a wander round looking at some baby things and I really need to purchase some new bras for work before my boobs explode out of the ones I am currently wearing. I am just keeping everything crossed that it turns out to be the lovely perfect day I am trying to focus on!

Booking In Appointment

I haven’t been very good at updating the blog recently! TBH, I’m just not sure what to write these days. My blog started as a release for all the crazy thoughts I was having TTC and now I am pregnant I am still having a million crazy thoughts but I just don’t know how to express them.

 

I am currently 9+5 weeks and had my official booking in appointment with the midwife yesterday. A few points that came out of my appointment were:

1. I have the worst veins ever! They are so deep that it can be really difficult to get blood which meant the midwife had quite a few goes at my arms and eventually settled on my hand to draw blood. This is going to be a nightmare every time, she has written a warning in my notes for next time. Thankfully I am not too bruised today from all the attempts.
2. I have to go to the hospital to see the consultant for a medical and anaesthetic review to do with my TMJ which will be a week after my scan. My care during pregnancy is a bit complicated due to where I live being right on the border of two health boards and my care being cross boundary. My GP and midwife come from one health board but the hospital in which I will give birth is in a different one. Where to give birth was my choice and although going across the boundary makes it seem like I am making a problem for myself, it just makes sense. This hospital is literally 10 minutes from my house whereas the alternative hospital in my health board is a good 30-40 minute drive. My midwife isn’t sure what the other health boards policy is with TMJ but hers says I need to see a consultant so she has referred me anyway just to be on the safe side.
3. I am high risk of pre eclampsia due to a family history so I will be starting on aspirin at 12 weeks as a precaution.

I sound like I am moaning about all the things going wrong but to be honest I can’t really complain about the pregnancy so far. My symptoms haven’t been too severe. I have had a little nausea, mainly when I am hungry. The odd day it can be quite severe and I end up retching over the toilet but I’ve managed to not actually be sick yet. For about a week and a half there I had pretty horrendous sciatica which was occurring after I had been lying down in bed. This meant when I was getting up for my 2am pee I was struggling to get out of bed and put weight on my left leg, but that seems to have improved now.

The tiredness seems to be passing now as well and I have a bit more energy which is great but I am still being careful about what I plan on doing, making sure I am not over doing it. One thing that has happened in the last few days is that I suddenly have a tiny bump. If I wear the wrong clothes you can tell I am definitely pregnant. At first I thought it was the bloat making me feel like that then on Sunday I noticed how much it looked like a baby bump and I was definitely not feeling bloated that day. I didn’t expect to be showing this early but I guess in my 5ft 1 frame there isn’t anywhere else for it to go but out the way.

 

It’s strange to see my body changing shape already but I am finding a great comfort in it. My feelings around the pregnancy swing from excitement to constant worry that something could go wrong and I guess seeing the bump appear makes me feel like the baby must be growing and everything is going in the right direction.

 

I am on countdown just now until my first scan which is just after the 12 week mark. I just can’t wait to see the baby and to make sure everything is all right.

 

I was a little bit naughty and I have purchased something for the baby. I had promised myself I wouldn’t do it until after the 12 weeks scan but I couldn’t help it. I ordered a wee baby vest that says Crawl, Walk, Golf on it. Sounds a bit odd for my first purchase but it will be Fathers Day in the UK two weeks after my scan and all being well I thought it would be nice to give my husband this as a surprise on Father’s Day as he is golf mad!

 

I will try and refrain from buying anything else for a while although I have a sneaky suspicion my mother in law has bought a few things already.

 

One thing I have been finding really difficult is the not talking about being pregnant. As I have mentioned I am a pretty open book when it comes to things and it is driving me mad not being able to talk about it. It’s made worse by the million pregnancy announcements I have seen recently (must be the Valentines baby boom, they are all due in November). I just want to shout SO AM I!!! I am saying that but I have decided I won’t be doing the whole pregnancy announcement on Facebook. I understand people want to share their news with everyone and FB is the obvious way but I am just not into that. I particularly don’t want to share my scan photo with everyone.

 

I am very excited though about a few fellow bloggers who are pregnant right now, and will all be due around the same time as me! It’s so lovely to read their progress and to know we will all be going through the same milestones at around the same time.

 

Anyway for someone who didn’t really know how to express their feelings I seem to have written a bit of a long post here. Must be making up for the fact I can’t talk to people!

6w5d

 

Myself and my husband have eventually gotten over the shock of the fact I’m pregnant. Well I have, he still looks like a rabbit caught in headlights. You would think the year and a half of trying would have had him more prepared for this.

 

We had the huge debate after finding out whether or not we were going to tell anyone just now or wait until the 12 week scan. My husband is very cautious and pretty much doesn’t tell anyone anything where as I am a total open book with my friends and family and talk about EVERYTHING! After much talking we decided to tell our immediate family and I have told two friends.

 

I realise that a lot of people don’t want to tell anyone due to the increased risk of miscarriage in the first 12 weeks but I decided that should something like that happen to us, these are the people I want to be there for me, these are the people I would turn to for support.

 

So now at 6 weeks 5 days pregnant I have told a handful of people about the baby and I have met my midwife. From talking to one of my friends who has recently had a baby I realise that pretty much every Health board does things differently.  I had my first point of contact appointment with my midwife on Friday to get things started and I will be back to see her again in a few weeks for my official booking in appointment before my 12 week scan.

 

I came away with so much information from this first appointment. Some of it I expected and some of it was just a bit overwhelming.

 

For starters we talked again about the fact I am overweight. You would think from all this chat that I weighed about 20 stone. Anyway, even with losing over a stone before falling pregnant, my BMI is still on the high side so I need to take a higher dose of Folic Acid for the first 12 weeks.

 

The midwife I saw had been very thorough with reading my notes as she wanted to discuss the fact I had lost my mum a few years ago and how that was still affecting me. I am guessing she had read that I have had problems in the past with tension headaches and with my jaw whenever my grief gets a bit much for me. I know she was just trying to be kind and make sure I wasn’t stressing but it can be hard to talk about it without bursting into tears, especially just now when all I can think about is how much I wish my mum was here.

 

As I have discussed before I have TMJ, which is a disorder of the jaw that in my case is mainly brought on by stress and lack of sleep but can also have flare ups that are completely unrelated. Normally I would manage this with strong painkillers and a tricyclic antidepressant to help me relax when sleeping but since trying to conceive I have been unable to take these and have been suffering from quite a lot of swelling and clicking around my jaw.

 

Anyway the point of mentioning this is because I will have to go and see an anaesthetist. Should the worst case scenario happen with giving birth and I would have to be put under general anaesthetic, my TMJ could make it difficult to intubate. So I need to go and see an anaesthetist to see if this is the case and if so, they can have it marked clearly in my notes that I will be a difficult intubation. Talk about streaking ahead with the plans, I’m only 6 weeks and we are already talking about giving birth!!

 

Anyway this was just a wee update as to how things are moving along. I still have a big grin on my face, still can’t quite believe I am over 6 weeks pregnant. I have another 6 weeks roughly to go before the scan so just keeping everything crossed for then.

News!

On Sunday I took a pregnancy test and it was positive!!  I am gobsmacked!!

 

Sunday was actually our wedding anniversary and when I think about finding out on that day it sounds absolutely ridiculous. I can’t believe that after trying for over a year and a half it would work out with that kind of timing.

 

My first reaction was that I was ecstatic; I couldn’t stop crying as I told my husband. He was actually so shocked that he couldn’t even say anything. I hadn’t told him I was going to test as I was only one day late on my period and to be honest I thought it was going to be negative, I was more doing it so I would stop obsessing over the way I was feeling.

 

I find this really hard to explain, I know it sounds ridiculous but I just had a feeling that something wasn’t right with my body. I was having some of the usual pre-period symptoms except my boobs had been killing me for over a week and I had had no spotting at all leading up to the date I was due my period. My CM had also changed and I was exceptionally bloated which normally I wouldn’t feel until my period has started.

 

A few things were different for us this cycle for one, we weren’t even trying, which I know for some of you reading this will be such a slap in the face.  After having my MMR vaccine we weren’t even supposed to be trying. We had both spent about three weeks being ill between us that we hardly even had sex.

 

I’m not sure how it happened whether it was because there was no stress of trying, or because I have lost some weight and am exercising or if it has something to do with the pre-conceive vitamins we had both been taking. Whatever it was, it’s happened for us.

 

I am trying really hard not to get too swept up in my excitement, I know it’s still early days, we have such a long way to go and I know there are so many things that could go wrong but I can’t help but be happy.

 

I got a BFP!!!